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DEAREST ROGER SCRUTON

2012-01-27T12:56:00.000-08:00

DEAREST ROGER SCRUTON

DELIRIUM

2012-01-18T04:40:00.000-08:00

DELIRIUM

Since the world drifts into delirium, we must adopt a delirious point of view.

STARGAZING

2012-01-16T13:50:00.000-08:00

STARGAZING

Since last summer I've been drawn to stargazing, with all my long night walks on the beach by the Black Sea that habit got only stronger. What really sparked my passion for such was an ability to find true North by Polaris, the only never moving star. I think there is nothing more intimate between human and his surroundings than night under the open sky's.

So as a way to find same minded people I organized a field trip to Planetarium with some colleagues of mine at the faculty of Mathematics at my University. I am looking forward for classes at Observatory by the end of February.

LIKE THIS

2012-01-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

LIKE THIS

Today is sort of like this, I got all I need, my books and my pipes.

WHO IS WHAT

2012-01-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

WHO IS WHAT

If Superman is the American dream, than Batman is the American reality.

THE NEVERENDING STORY

2012-01-10T22:36:00.000-08:00

THE NEVERENDING STORY

I remember as a kid i would skip the school and go to the movie theater with my pals. "The NeverEnding story" was by far one of the best movies of my childhood.

ALL SET FOR NOW

2012-01-10T13:06:00.000-08:00

ALL SET FOR NOW

Sets the summer sun on fire

2012-01-03T11:33:00.000-08:00

Sets the summer sun on fire

2012

2011-12-31T03:42:00.000-08:00

2012

Good friends, Happy new year! I wish you more miracles and best wishes for the coming year to you! I am absolutely thankful to people who comes to this very personal diary, I will continue to deliver and...
I am starting a new project PHILOSOPEDIA – “Thinking about Thinking”. I will dedicate the whole year for doing what I love the most- Thinking! Only this time around I will create, provoke and publicly display things that are very important to me, and things that might change us.

This one wasn’t the easiest, I admit. But I could definitely say I have learned a great deal in those 12 short moments. Challenges never come in form or time we wish them to come. Farewell 2011 and Hello 2012 :)

places unfamiliar

2011-12-25T02:30:00.000-08:00

places unfamiliar

As I took astand at the very edge of a border living on the hill I keep exploring landsnearby, hoping that one day this dividing line will move eastwards. I spendmuch time alone, but I can not say I am not happy. So far I’ve been treated wellhere. Nothing I been told home about this people is correct, they are notbeggars and thieves, on the contrary they are polite guests, great hosts and have a familiar humor Ienjoy. Real communication is slow however.

One of theold monasteries, which have been used as an armory, once serving natives as astronghold against Turkish invaders, stands on the same ridge of hills as Ireside. It may sound forward of me, but Ihave a deep admiration for culture that natives managed to preserved despiteforeign dominance centuries long. As I keep visiting places unfamiliar and notmapped by popular tourist sites, I find much peace and joy in doing so, despiteof lack of navigation or any material that can describe site for one who mightbe interested in. Information is in deficit here, which is not a case oroccasional trash sites. This is still my home however, and I remain watchful,sharing with you whatever comes my way.

stars

2011-12-13T08:48:00.000-08:00

stars

DEPRUSSIAN

2011-12-12T12:03:00.000-08:00

DEPRUSSIAN

I genuinely don’t get this Idea that people go on about, that they need a “Strong Ruler” in order to be better off and ultimately become happier, this is an absurd thing to think, or wish. Are you that Imbecile? Are you that Incapable? Are you that Helpless?

For ages we’ve been told those things, with constant pressure we believed in our only role, to submit and consume, that made us feel pathetic, small… so we willingly gave up our sovereignty, our liberty, our destiny, we turned into “DEPRUSSIANS”.

BITCHES LOVE SONNETS

2011-12-09T06:06:00.001-08:00

BITCHES LOVE SONNETS

just what the doctor ordered

2011-12-07T09:07:00.001-08:00

just what the doctor ordered

RANDOM

2011-12-06T04:04:00.001-08:00

RANDOM

CANNIBAL FANTASY

2011-12-03T10:54:00.001-08:00

CANNIBAL FANTASY

It's been some time since I took my Post at the very edge of an Eastern Border, I would like to tell you a story you have never heard. But before that I want to share some of my thoughts on the subject that is a taboo for many of us.

If this World is a Theatre, then the very stage of it is soaked with blood. These lands have seen much of poverty, bloodshed, famine, wars, where cruel rulers were the only way to survive the oppression of Empires. Forged in war, united out of shattered pieces of lands it has many dark corners and untold stories to tell.

Philosophy was once the art of asking extreme, dangerous questions. The task of the philosopher is not simply to argue, as much of contemporary academic philosophy would want us to believe, but also to convince, to move, to stir and, eventually, to shake us to the core. This is the point where the cannibal enters the scene.
What would happen to a society if all the rules would vanish? What is the natural state of a being? Is there something Supreme, with absolute rules that keep us away from falling into a chaos?

Far from popular novels, where demonic blood sucking creatures roams forests, the pages of our history undeniably relate to our nature. It’s been documented that some of the oldest human remains found in Europe, the actual first known Homo sapiens dates to 34,000 years ago were found at Pestera cu Oase in Romania. Among the human remains on archeological site were found the jewelries made out of human bones, an evidence of early cannibalism. As I move forward in time to the year 1940, it is easy to find cases of cannibalism on the very hills I am dining. In the very recent past, only a few years ago, a collection of photos from World War II was declassified. These pictures were so extreme that they had been kept in a vault at the Finnish Ministry of Defense for more than sixty years. Among the atrocities frozen in time by the camera are images of cannibalism in the ranks of Soviet soldiers.
As it might seem civilization polished our nature, yet many of us eat the Body of Christ every Sunday. Perhaps it is my fueled imagination talking, but as much as I do not want to think of it, humans are scavengers, and will remain so in body and mind in times of a great struggle, and those times have nowhere near been over.

As I sit comfortably in a restaurant visited many times over the past years I found this place most suitable for thinking, a place where the secret tunnels were dug, spreading like a second subterranean life form of a city. Sitting quietly in my far corner I overheard the story a fairy tale, perhaps. Let the cannibal tell his story…

The Innkeeper.

Once there was a poor orphan girl who worked as a servant at the house of arich man. Her dearest companion was a little dog that her parents had given herbefore they died. One day the chieftain of a robber band, disguisedas an ordinary servant, came to the rich man's house and asked the girl tomarry him. Sensing something sinister about him, the girl rejected the suitor'sadvances, so, with the assistance of his fellow robbers, he carried her away byforce.
Now a prisoner in the robber's house, the girlstill refused to marry him, in spite of his friendly words, his threats, andhis abuse.
Finally he gave up his attempts to win her love, and sold her to a wild andcruel innkeeper. This innkeeper would rob travelers, kill them, cut theminto pieces, and serve their cooked flesh to his other guests. He terrorizedthe poor girl by showing her the valuables he had stolen from his victims, theroom where he murdered them, and the weapons he used for his wicked deeds. Thenhe locked her and her little dog in an adjoining room.
Soon afterward he brought in a little boy whom hehad captured in the woods gathering berries. He cut off the boy's head and cuthim into pieces. Then he forced the girl to cook the boy's flesh and serve itto the innkeeper's guests.

Sometimelater the innkeeper brought in a very old woman, ugly and wrinkled, and nothingbut skin and bones. Perhaps wanting to fatten her up for later, he locked herin the room with the girl and her dog. After their captor had left, theold woman told the girl that the cannibal innkeeper was her own son, and thatshe, disguised so well that he could not recognize her, had come to punish himfor his wickedness.
Skilled in witchcraft, the old woman told the girl how she could escape. Shewould first have to kill her little dog and eat a piece of its heart. The girldid this, and then the old woman rubbed some ointment all over the girl's body,which transformed her into a duck.
A little later the wild man opened the door, andthe duck flew over his head, escaping into the open. The innkeeper ran fromroom to room looking for the girl, and his mother uttered a magic curse thatcaused the house to collapse upon him, killing him at once.
The girl turned around and saw the heap of ruins,but as the old woman had not told her how she could again become a human being,she has remained a duck to this very day.

NICOLINA STREET SPIRIT

2011-12-02T09:06:00.001-08:00

NICOLINA STREET SPIRIT

WEEK WORTH OF MILD STARVATION

2011-12-02T07:06:00.001-08:00

WEEK WORTH OF MILD STARVATION

WHAT ABOUT GOD

2011-11-28T09:47:00.001-08:00

WHAT ABOUT GOD

My story with God begins with a dog. My relationship with God is very ordinary, it’s personal, it’s full of questions, and it has no rules.

I was a boy, my family was busy most of the time, the Soviet Union just collapsed and my mother, a former ballet dancer, had to make a living by giving dance lessons to kids who were living in a small village twenty kilometers outside of my home town. — I needed a friend.
I remember this sunny Sunday, when I got my barking dream in my hands, it was magical. Soon after a friend got sick, I had to clean his not so magical puke, I had no Idea what did I do wrong, I blamed myself. — I needed a friend who can help my other friend.

I had some small cash in my pocket and I knew how to get to the church on the other side of town, so I ran, took a bus and got myself into a church, a place I have never been before. Nothing really impressed me, gold, people, smells, all was very foreign to me. Scary in the best word to describe it.
I made a decision to buy a small postcard with St. Nicolay on it. It seemed to me that Jesus was too young and almost dead, he couldn’t help. Virgin Mary was a woman, she had a baby on her hands, and I guessed that she had her own problems. So I found an old guy, with a very strong look on his face, I believed he knew what to do.
I came home and mounted St. Nicolai on my bookshelf, I looked at him, he looked at me and I asked if he can help my dog, like real friends would do. Sometimes at night I would take a flashlight and point a beam of light at St. Nicolai, so to know he is there, between books.
Surely, soon after with a decent amount of antibiotics, good food and St. Nikolai my black tailed friend got well, barking louder than ever. I was happy. I really knew God was there, I had all evidences I needed. I though it’s even better I had two friends on my side now. Life was good.

Time passed, I moved to a different continent, put myself in school, got a job and lost my friend…
Years mounted, places changed, people I loved moved out of my heart permanently. What have stayed, besides my family? Almost nothing. Life grinded all things I have tried to keep close to myself. I’ve been in the church many times, weddings, baptizing, some holidays, cultural explorations, you name it. I never looked at the God as I looked at him while being a boy. I looked at it as an exercise, something Yoga like, stand here, put a candle here, band, starch, look up.

When my almost ex-wife lost her brother in a car crash I remember standing near her by the coffin, holding her hand and telling her to be strong, this was my way to help her and to help myself. I believed I had to be a friend, to be near, to be strong, and to be helpful. I admit, I pretended to be a “Bulletproof Tony”, I hold my tears and cried only in a bathroom, alone. Parents were ready to jump into a grave… Fucking hard stuff as I look back.
I also knew my wife will never be the same, I knew this will damage her permanently and I will have to live with this person, and her time to time surging depressions. I have accepted it. Three years later, I went through my wedding in a church, was it important thing to do? Yes. All though I felt disconnected for some time, while being in church I looked at her face and her white dress, thinking maybe if it is not a journey it may be a destination…

— Have I seen God? No. — Did I ask God to help us, no.
I was too ashamed to ask. It seemed to me it is not right to ask a friend to help only when you need help, after all I forgot he was there for so many years, why now? I am ashamed that I tried to convince others that there is no God, going into a full blast conversations, finding rational ways to explain why, even deep inside I had a dimed imaged of something I can’t explain. So how do I could ask if my ignorance have voiced against it? I felt I had no rights to ask, I felt as I turned my back.

I was in the church in times of a great pain and days of a great happiness… This cannot be erased or forgotten, this is always going to be there, no matter what.

Life appears to be without a rhyme or a reason, just a number of events fractured in an arrow of time. Often I ask myself, «What planet the fuck are you from dude?”. I haven’t read the Bible in its entirety, and I do not look for a Visa to heaven, that makes me a bad Christian I suppose. In fact I find the whole Idea of Heaven and Hell is a bit odd, we have our lives here and now, where both elements are present already, I agree with a French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre we are responsible for what we do, nobody else is to blame. It is up to us to create a Kingdome within our lives.

I have problems understanding people who are constantly begging God for things. Some people I knew had Ten Commandments written on the refrigerator, and still manage to fuck others over and over. Others had five Icons in the house, they light candles and cross themselves every five minutes, but they wouldn’t give a call to a person they called “Son” to ask if he had recovered after his father's death. I am not laughing anymore. I am not even really judging them. Just observing.
I am also in constant misunderstanding with the Orthodox Church, all this gold, all this ritual, they are just overwhelming for me, they take my mind away and make me forget why did I come in the first place. I have made conscious decisions, and I tend to go more often to Lutheran “Кирха”. I do not wear a cross on my chest, neither I kneel. I do understand some people need all this in the church, and I do not judge them. Whatever floats their boats.

What do I do about God today, well… I’m just trying to keep a conversation going in the simplest way, as I did once being a boy. I am trying to learn to accept his ways and believe without of a promise of anything in return… At the very end if God exists or not, some of us may never know, but I feel I have to live my life as he is near, existing.

SPELLS OF MURFATLAR

2011-11-25T05:51:00.001-08:00

SPELLS OF MURFATLAR

I don’t wantto start with a clishe like “an amazing wine”, this wine Murfatlar,Merlot, 2008 is bought atspecialized Murfatlar store in Iasi, as a dopant to my recentlysimplified to potatoes and cheap cheese diet. I am home warm and dry, lookingat this one, reading the label, maturating on the idea of trying it. Decisions,decisions, 2008 were a specifically good year to me,I have caught a lot of fish, I’ve traveled roads less traveled. So, I opened this one to feel 2008once again, and it didn’t let me down. (I am committing to go and buy anotherbottle for my collection)

This wineis very gentle, balanced, and soft. This is not your typical “up in your face”Merlot.
Wine is full of chocolate, coffee and some sort of berries flavor, a hint of carnation, very homey, very good for a foggy evening. I am not the nose expert, in fact I don’tthink I even have one, unless I close one eye to see it. But I can definitelytell that this wine is very special, color, flavor, taste, all is in the rightplace. I have even spotted notes of a bit burned honey. Also I’dlike to note that this bottle is made for export, (with a cost of 4 US dollars)as Romania wines start to be more accessible to European markets, Murfatlardoes a great gob. While USSR, this wine maker was veryprestigious in Soviet “Kashtan” stores, even my grandmother recall buying it asa gift. I wish Ukraine could have this at supermarkets, sadly there is noMurfatlar back home, another good reason to stay, perhaps.

Back to the label, this one has Mihai Vitiazy (Michael the Brave) on it. He wasthe Prince of Wallachia (1593–1601), of Transylvania (1599–1600), and ofMoldavia (1600). Michael the Brave's rule, with its break with Ottoman rule,tense relations with other European powers and the leadership of the threestates, was considered in later periods as the precursor of a modern Romania.This theory became a point of reference for nationalists, as well as a catalystfor various Romanian forces to achieve a single Romanian state. In the writingsof the Moldavian chronicler Miron Costin, Michael the Brave appears in the roleof conqueror of Transylvania and Moldavia, "the cause of much spilling ofblood among Christians", and not even highly appreciated by his own Wallachians:"The Wallachians became tired of the warful rule of Voivode Mihai".

This is avery special and full passion wine, I do like it a lot, and I cherish everylittle sip of it.

COCALAR?

2011-11-24T00:05:00.001-08:00

COCALAR?

I have found this Graffiti on the main street of Iasi. The word "COCALAR", deviated from its original sense of "gypsy" which implies such attributes as "dirty, tasteless, dumb-ass, motherfucker with no other purpose than stealing and listening to Manele", as I understood it can be referred to people with a cheap taste, someone who craves for shiny, material things as well.

Also, word "COCALAR" designates today a mutant sub-type form of Romanian youth. It is used in a derogatory way, so as to express the full despise. Saying "Futu-ti cocalaru ma-tii", would indicate your negative attitude towards a person or group of people.

HEART OF GOLD OR HOW TO BUILD A SURVIVAL KIT

2011-11-23T00:13:00.001-08:00

HEART OF GOLD OR HOW TO BUILD A SURVIVAL KIT

Well, I was thinking to make a list that could makea difference. Perhaps it’s sort of a “Survival Kit”, small guide to abetter life.

BRUTAL HONESTY

Life is short, life is absurd. There’s so much deceit. It will make you old too fast.
Lies, made up reasons, faulty promises here and there, they are just too expensive. It will accumulate on you like layers of a residue on your tea-pot, eventually tea (life) will taste like crap, and you will hate your life, thinking you need a new one. Surely there is no such thing like a new life, do not kid yourself.
All the lies would be right behind you. They stare from the sealing when people are a sleep, they observe you when you think you are happy, they wait …

Think you are innocent? Well, think twice, get “Bullshit radar” and hang it on your neck. I am doing it, and I am tuning it on self-frequency, here and now.
Honesty is the best thing you can do for yourself, besides staying healthy, it is hard to start but people detect honesty and real characters very well, so you will only win in the end. It will make your life simpler, there is side-effect, some people will fall off, but on the end you need real people with real values around you, who can tell you the truth even if it hurts.
Honesty is a new currency, in this world where companies try to lie to you on a daily basis, where politics are breaded only to lie and scam, crappy people, freeloaders.You can be paying with something different. I don’t know but I feel good when I see a person with honest ways. I practice to be tolerant to mean comments, as long as they are truthful. I try … and oh, with my fiery nature it is a task not to talk back.

I EAT WHAT I KILL

What I mean is that is essential to rely only on yourself.
Well, I think its ok, to ask people for help, when you really need it, but you have to understand you have to return it in something bigger. We live in the forest and each calorie is valuable, real life in not less rugged or any different than life in the forest, we take, we have to return. It is a common sense and the rule of any forest, no free lunches.
There are many moments that you wish you could run and have this momentary problem, issue, resolved with the help of others, you can, but people around will tire of you very fast. They will avoid you if you keep involving them in your drama. I have seen it with others.
I am especially confused with people on social sites, who post things like “Should I…”, “Who can… ”, “I need…” or even worse, posts where they show off with material things or their relationships. Long ago I almost lost a good friend because of the money I’ve borrowed for momentary needs. I’ve borrowed not only for myself with that money I helped a person to pay a dept, but still, who cares. You can’t do this. It will lead eventually to a disaster. Good thing my friend is that good and understanding, he went an extra mile for me. I am sincerely happy I have him. Others won’t.
In essence, if you need help, I mean really need it, people who care about you will offer a hand themselves. But before taking this hand I think twice, how I can repay? Poor hearted people will never help you even if you gave them much, just move on, and be strong. Keep your garden clean and debt free.

RUMBLE YOUR FEARS and GROW A BACKBONE

I think life will find new things to throw at you, almost on daily bases, some of them surely not pleasant, some are designed to make you cclimewalls in exiguity.
I remember this unsettled feeling crawling up my spine; I was worried I didn't have enough money to pay my phone bills, I was 19 back then, fresh off the boat alone in the USA. Scared! Scared! Scared!
Time passed, one night I found myself lying on a bed, shit-scared, climbing walls (mentally) thinking how to pay my University in Rhode Island I was something of 22, I worked two jobs and paid 100% about what I had too.
From time to time new curve-balls were thrown. Time passed, still, I have found myself wide awake 4 in the morning, to calculate if I have sent enough money to my wife, so she can pay her school, food and house I have rented for her, while she studied abroad for two years, and I was 32 then. A year later I was sitting on the bench thinking, did she really said that or this is just my imagination, -"I could do it all by myself"...
In sum I am happy, Life gave me real tests and I didn’t fail, I stick to my principles, I pulled and pushed, I didn’t betray, I didn’t run away. This is a very valuable information for me, next time fears knock in my door I just shout, -“Yeah, Try harder”!

Now, I do not believe you can ever defeat fears entirely, but what you can do is to learn how to manage it. Monsters do exist, so how to deal with them?
I found useful to label things in categories, USEFUL & RUBBISH. So, whenever I wake up with a cold dagger of fear near my heart, I think are they useful worries, if not, they go straight into a Rubbish Bean. I know it takes time and practice, but at the end I am able to choke those useless fears right away, turn on my back and go straight to sleep. I am still practicing.

The biggest setback of any fear is that it leaves you paralyzed, not creative, unable to see a bigger picture, edgy. I am sure each person will find their own way to deal with fears, in many situations it is possible to become a butcher not a turkey, using disadvantages in your favor.

Alcohol will never be your best friend in this fight, most likely it will work against you on the long run, perhaps it is OK, to go with friends to a nice place, never alone, to have a good time, a glass of a good wine, that's about it, and not too often.

Maybe the best thing is to observe the fear. Say hello to it. Give it a chair so it can kick back inside of you. Don’t try and run from it. Knowing your enemy is the only way to defeat it.

BE CURIOUS
I found myself thinking of different tastes of Wine, tobaccos, city smells, Graffiti’s, Walking, Pipes, ways to make bread, Cigars, Wobblers (fishing tackle), writing tools, recipes of how to do home-make drinks, ways to read and navigate stars, blogging.
I write about what I see and feel. It helps me to stay mentally healthy, constant searching is a good exercise. Many things I write are stored under a "later" tag, but still I am trying constantly to find the other side of almost everything. I think of it, I write. Creativity brings luck. Passion for things might bring a big success!

Watching TV and all of theirs "How to", "History Chanel" etc will never help, this is a Bubble Gum made for everyone on this planet, so you will never stand out those programs have Zero nourishment, and it won't help you in no other way but to kill time, I use it as a background for my English ear training.

Just as a general rule if you want to expand your network, you must know things others don't. If you are able to share those things even better, people will always find you useful. May be you will come up with a good Idea that will bring someone more money, or better lifestyle, or simple comfort. But they always will think of you as a person who has something in your hands.
I am lucky to have such friends they are scattered throughout the Globe, but they are the real jewels of my life, each is important for a passion, vision, idea.
Each full of care and hard to find honesty. I know why I noticed them in the first place they were full of Interests and Passions.

NOURISH YOUR DREAMS

I dream therefore I am!
I particularly like to look at human faces and stare at paintings, whenever I can and think of positive things that I experienced, even if it is a very small thing like crossing four green lights on the row. A girl from the grocery store made a joke of my Romanian and gave me a lesson how to say “I need a toilet paper”. Bus came on time etc.

Many times I find myself dreaming. I regularly go to the beach and throw stones into The Black Sea. I dream… and I find myself smiling…
I wrote a post on Dreams and "Décolleté Theory", in sum it is very important to dream, perhaps some of your dreams are more important than the whole life of yours.

Someone up there might just look at you through the prism of your dreams.

Having ways to work on what you wish is one of the most important things, if you can realize your dream, small or big doesn’t matter, If the results are there you will know that dreaming is good, it is like a compass that will navigate you in the darkest hour of your life. But surely action is required.

I don't think things like an IPad, or a new phone can be placed under this category.
If you dream of a gadget, I wish you had better dreams to tell me. Same goes for dreams in “regrets” category, “I wish I could turn back the time”, “I dream to see him/her crying” etc., Negative dreaming is never a good thing.

Tell me what are your dreams and I will tell who you are.

LOVE IS ENOUGH

This is the hardest one and at the same time it’s easier if you are a believer.
Well it is even hard to think where to start…
I think, well I am almost convinced, time and people you meet will try to prove: statement “Love is enough” is wrong.
I think it’s impossible to find faith in God just by attending a Sunday school, they might teach you how to worship but not how to believe. I think believing is something you generate within yourself; it is partly heart, partly your continence, partly a path you take, it has to come from many places. You have to make conscious decisions to stay morally, mentally, emotionally healthy when you are getting involved in a relationship.
Just by visiting someone’s body or having delusions about “destiny”, obsessing over someone, sex, won’t work.
Blue bird of affection may sit on your shoulder for a while but you need someone who could not only kiss but eventually die with. For that you have to make conscious decisions, they might come from your heart at the beginning but later on you have to think with your head, and ultimately except a person with your head.
Almost like shooting a rocket into outer space, it must have stages in time and structural systems, some are designed for a “Liftoff” others are made for “Hard Reality Pull” others get you through “Gravity of routine”. Flying a rocket requires both, your heart and your head, many devices, instruments, screens and buttons, it takes training, and as a pilot you must learn how to crush and survive.

I don’t know why but I do believe.

DECOLLETE THEORY OF ALMOST EVERYTHING

2011-11-21T05:43:00.001-08:00

DECOLLETE THEORY OF ALMOST EVERYTHING

I was sitting at one of the parties, chatting my time away when suddenly I noticed a girl that came into a bright light, she turned, it was a décolleté dress that made me think.

The whole dress is unimportant, what is important is something that is not there, not existent. A Hole, an empty space is the only reason for this dress to exist.

So, here is my thinking and “Decollete Theory”, maybe some things that you never had things that are none existent like dreams, wishes, moments that punched a hole in a fabric of life, is the most important thing in your whole existence. It is like something of a beautiful dress that makes you celebrate life revealing your real skin.

Tell me what are your dreams and I tell you who you are.

YOU CAN'T SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS

2011-11-21T02:28:00.001-08:00

YOU CAN'T SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS

For many years I thought that you can solve someone else issues, problems, depressions. I played a game called "juggler", taking in my hands heavy problems of others. No education? Oh, ok I will work and pay. No house? I will accept and provide the roof. Depressions? I will make it all work. Stupid right, well that is the reality.

Now, I realized when a person depressed they are just like an onion. The very top layer of their skin is the "Official reason", they are depressed. May be someone made a bitter comment, or didn't smile or kissed enough, or didn't take to exotic vacations. If you do respond to this (eating the skin) it will taste bitter an it won't help anyone.

One more layer down, might be a feeling of shame, unknowing who they are, feeling of insecurity, dislike of physical conditions or the shame of giving up dreams in the past, crave for attention, constant reassurance of feelings.

One further layer down, as we continue peeling this beautiful onion, might be events that happened ten years ago that began to trigger these insecurities. Father, with his tiresome ways, wrong family projections, unwillingness to repeat mother's life, dropped school, etc.

And even a layer down, the insecurities and shame might be triggered by events that happened 100 years ago to the ancestors of your friend.

How are you going to solve these problems? It’s too difficult! Neither of you can solve them. Therapists think they can help by “talking about the parents” perhaps but the problems might even go deeper. The things making your friend sad are insurmountable if you try to tackle them directly.

Now I think the only way is NOT trying to help, NOT acting as a doctor, preparing plans for how to cure the illness. NOT eating that onion is the only way to help the onion. DO NOT TRY TO FIX ANYTHING!

All you can do is to listen. That’s all you do. Let your friend talk. It will work If a person is a good-hearted, unspoiled, family oriented, if a friend knows how to talk and not being shut down in a cocoon like mode, unable to communicate, where problems are boiling inside and the only way you can know about them is a helpless cry in the middle of the night. Surely for that you have to learn how to avoid your "bitter doctor" come into a play, because nobody like doctors, and especially doctors who are bitter and dominating. Doctor House is only good for TV not for your Family health. I made this mistake so I tell you, just comfort them. Long road, here is a warm blanket, and a hot meal. -Sorry, That is all I can do!

Then maybe she will know she has someone who will listen to her. That makes her happy. Make her feel loved. Listen and love your friend. That is probably is the only way you can live with someone else in their problems.
But ether this can not guaranty success. They have to do the very same things for you, otherwise it won't fly, don't forget you are a person too, you also need care, understanding, comforting, and appreciation for what you do.

MONASTERY ON THE HILL

2011-11-20T09:13:00.001-08:00

MONASTERY ON THE HILL

I've been investigating my new surroundings and one of the most apparent pieces of history that I see out of my windows is an old Hlincea Monastery built on the top of a steep hill of Cetatuia, the seventh hill of Iasi city in 1574.

Despite the new external look of a Church I found that internal chambers are something more real. Walls all covered in dust, absolutely like black scum in the kettle, in which many prayers were told, boiled, refused and answered. And they cried to the Lord in their troubles, and now they are all quieted.
It almost feels like that prayers are the cause of that black ash like burned tree color of the walls, where Saints has no faces, smiles are long gone and only a faint notion of a past glory is left. I can’t imagine a wedding between those walls, it would be doomed. Yet, I think it would be wrong to clean it, restoring to the bone something that absorbed a dark history of this ancient land where people lived life, hard life, full of bloodshed, grief and sadness.
All those things left a distinctive mark on this building, which is like a human face, where you can see if a person struggled through life or lived easily, the face will show. I left it with a disturbed feeling almost rushing away, trough the wine fields, where the first being I encountered was a simple girl with a smile full of life and hope.

I researched and discovered some discrepancies in history, It is told, that the monastery was built by Maria, the daughter of Moldavian Prince Petru Schiopul. At the middle of the next century, it was rebuilt by Prince Vasile Lupu the very wealthy Voevoda and finished by his son Stefanita, in November 1660.
Being specific, Prince Petru Schiopul never had a daughter by the name of Maria, and in fact he had two women in his life called by this name his mother and his second wife, who was a Circassian lady-in-waiting at his mini-court. Prince also was called "Peter the Lame", unlike his ancestors he was born and raised in Istanbul, and hardly knew of his country of origin before gaining the throne of Moldavia.

WALKING

2011-11-19T06:24:00.001-08:00

WALKING

And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be, are full of trees and changing leaves how old would man be?

UNASHAMED LUXURY

2011-11-05T06:47:00.000-07:00

UNASHAMED LUXURY

This tin of tobacco I've bought in Denmark at local Paul Olsen store, it is hand-blended tobacco from personally selected grades by A & C Peterson from the most reputed tobacco fields in the world. A & C Peterson have used Virginia from the Old Belt district, Orientals from Greece, Turkey and Cyprus, and finally just a small amount of Perique from the famous Louisiana district in the USA. A medium-mild blend with a very well balanced bouquet. The slogan says "Never compromise on quality", I would call it an "Unashamed Luxury", a very complex tobacco with many tastes that undulate in and out throughout the bowl, never boring but sometimes confusing in its richness. There is a naturally sweet, nutty flavor combined with a slight nose tingle of perique.

Epicurean at heart, I believe that the highest pleasure is tranquility and freedom from fear that can be obtained by knowledge, friendship and living a virtuous and temperate life.
Inevitably I began practicing the pipe smoking in hope of better life vision and deeper understanding on whatever it brings, as a result of such explorations I understood that you have to have a taciturnity of a diplomat, equanimity of a trickster and the strength of a battleship commander in order to hold on to the pipe and your life.

One of the best tobaccos I've had, it is extremely well balanced and I highly recommend it!

FALLING LIKE THIS

2011-11-02T03:58:00.000-07:00

FALLING LIKE THIS

2011-10-20T16:06:00.001-07:00

MADE MY DAY

2011-10-06T14:34:00.000-07:00

AMONG THE ICE

The ice is near, the solitude tremendous—but how calmly all things lie in the light! How freely one breathes! How much one feels beneath oneself! Philosophy, as I have so far understood and lived it, means living voluntarily among ice and high mountains—seeking out everything strange and questionable in existence, everything so far placed under a ban by morality.

2011-10-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

SACRED

There is something about being out there, you stand in water, it wants to run freely, I guess it it's mission in life, you reached down and pick up a rock it feels cool to your skin or stare at swirls on water and greens, the whole thing is magical, for me it's like going to another world or I would love to say coming back home.
I think Man becomes aware of the Sacred because it manifests itself as something wholly different from the profane, Sacred shows itself to us as something of a wholly different order, a reality that does not belong to our world in objects that are an integral part of our natural "profane" world.

2011-09-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

SPECIAL THINGS

While staying in lovely city of Lvov I bought this W.Ø. Larsen Classics Special Edition 2011 tobacco. Charm of old streets, stiff drinks combined with good food, coldish weather and pipe full of excellent tobacco, what more one should desire?
This year W.Ø. Larsen Classics brings you a blend with a round balanced taste. Edition 2011 is made from Black Cavendish, ripe Virginia and a small amount of broad cut bright Virginia tobaccos. These tobaccos are gathered from Brazil, Argentina, USA and Zambia. Edition 2011 has a delicate sweet vanilla and fruity flavor enhancing the blend.

Brandy note in the tin which develops well when smoked. Red berries and vanilla aroma from the beginning of the smoke. A very pleasant smoke, fully bodied and perhaps a little overwhelwing if smoked in a large pipe. Quite worth trying and not just for tin collectors! On that point of view the design is quite distinctive, with a 'high tech' note!

2011-09-25T02:43:00.000-07:00

BEINGS

My drug without a promise of a rehab, seems like they are living beings with minds of their own, empowered by relentless energy sourced from above, running up over and over again, when I am near they agitate, roar and welcome me back, often we sit in silence, sometimes i look for a petty-change answers, instead they tell me not to look down or back. At time i being frightened by them but still come, i guess we are friends now, conversing about something very opposite of us, something above, out of our reach, we gaze for hours at something we will never touch but dream.

YEP, IT'S LIKE THAT

2011-09-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

YEp, IT'S LIKE THAT

JUST A FEW

2011-08-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

JUST A FEW

Not many, maybe just a few human beings receive the truth in one illuminating instance, most get it in crumb like portions living life by filling a big picture with small mosaic pieces.

MY RIVER

2011-08-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

MY RIVER

Fishing is my passion and Danube is my river, where enchanting and soul healing waters has been attracting me ever since... This year due to life turbulence i missed summer on open water... I miss it... I am craving for it... I will return to my river...

Till than this small video from Frontsidefly guys from Scandinavia shows what it means to have love for something you do... Peace

Frontside sunset from Stefan Ågren on Vimeo.

FOR I HAVE TASTED THE FRUIT

2011-08-11T13:03:00.000-07:00

FOR I HAVE TASTED THE FRUIT

"Time travel in the classic sense has no place in rational theory, but temporal distortion does exist on the quantum level, and more importantly it can be controlled".

Academician Prokhor Zakharov, "For I Have Tasted the Fruit".

GOOD OLD BEATING

2011-08-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

GOOD OLD BEATING

I've found this old plate, called "A good woman beats the wine out of her drunken husband's head".
Oh nothing have changed...thanks God!

ESCAPE

2011-08-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

ESCAPE

The worst thing about escape is that you can end up in a worse place

NO FURTHER

2011-08-05T17:05:00.000-07:00

NO FURTHER

Already we have turned all of our critical industries, all of our material resources, over to these...things...these lumps of silver and paste we call nanorobots. And now we propose to teach them intelligence? What, pray tell, will we do when these little homunculi awaken one day announce that they have no further need for us?

Dr. Ishiguro with Telenoid and Elfoid

DOUBT

2011-08-04T15:21:00.000-07:00

DOUBT

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd

WILD MUSTARD

2011-08-02T15:04:00.000-07:00

WILD MUSTARD

Wild Mustard, Brockville - A.Y. Jackson, 1922

WACKY TOBACKY

2011-08-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

WACKY TOBACKY

A modern approach to a traditional mixture. Black Cavendish, toasted Burley, Orientals and bright Virginias are gently mixed with apricot and natural sweetness. Made in Denmark, soft and mellow with a pleasing aroma and a delicate taste.

Melange indeed. After several bowls, I find the main theme to be of caramel, closely shadowed by almond, then chocolate. Apricot is present and I found that it tended to stay in the front. I certainly appreciate the effort the blender put in to this one. The flavorings performed well and hung in there almost to the bottom of the bowl.
This mix, considering the price tag became one of my favorites, especially in summer when a cool breeze comes from the Sea.

ON THE ROAD TO BABADAG

2011-08-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

ON THE ROAD TO BABADAG

Last year and a year before I have traveled to Babadag village in Romania, small place near Black Sea surrounded by ancient hills and Muslim tombs where Gypsy weddings and house made Wines are not in deficit. One may see nothing special there but to me it carries a bit of a sentiment...

Here is a Los Angeles Times Book review: "On the Road to Babadag" by Andrzej Stasiuk

LOS MONO - SE PUEDE

2011-07-29T18:09:00.001-07:00

LOS MONO - SE PUEDE

WHERE ARE THE DEMONS

2011-07-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

WHERE ARE THE DEMONS

We are our own demons

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

2011-07-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

I hope that someone gets my...

WHAT'S IMPORTANT

2011-07-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

WHAT'S IMPORTANT

We live creating a Universe that is specific to us. In this sense we are alone in this world. No one can perceive the world, people and things as unique as each of us, because of that our whole existence revolves around ourselves. When life escapes us we stop existing and our personal Universe along with it…We die alone.

It is absolutely impossible to give a continuation of our dreams, imagination or a vision in exact form we can only try to pass ourselves physically trough offspring’s. No word, legacy or a picture can hold a task at the best we can only be understood and remembered which might be enough.

We go on loosing close ones, but life goes on for us, the most important task that life can give you it is life itself. Others come and go. Our lives are only about us and no one else, no matter what.

Can we be called humans without carrying individualism? Can we be called humans without ability to sacrifice? Two properties that seemingly are opposite feed into one meaning.

Individualism is a pillar of our existence, closely linked to our freedoms. Having those we flourish. We are being chosen to love, work or be a friend because of our individual properties those are the key ingredients of our personality.

There are instances where our life become less important, at some point we plunge into someone else existence, we do it out of love, duty, fear. I believe such instances can be called sacrifices. Family. Friendship. Business.
Life lived without a sacrifice is not really lived! Turns out the most important things are based on giving…

Life is the only constant without which nothing else is possible where to survive we have to take, but to live we must give!

LADY READING

2011-07-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

LADY READING

Personally, madly, loving it! Portrait of a Lady Reading Le Figaro - Mary Cassatt, 1878

ABILITIES

2011-07-18T02:35:00.000-07:00

ABILITIES

We never really appreciate what we have and always run after what we can’t have or what we can’t be.

How many times will it take to fail before we understand that we are not what we want to be, and never will be. Some of our abilities come to us naturally and so easily that we do not comprehend the importance of it, most of the time we do not even use it.

It takes years to come to understanding of who we are and what we can and can’t do. It also takes lots of luck to strike the gold of knowledge of what we are good at from the first time, without a blow to your existence.

For some other abilities we work very hard, especially if we don’t have it, thinking this is what we need. Most of the time we go for something everybody already went for, it make us feel not less or at least as everybody, which is probably normal, but not true to ourselves.
We develop skills that will make us succeed in life in frame that is build by society, and nothing wrong in that. Not many rise to the challenge, and that is normal too, because we are suckers for convenience and certainty.

Sometimes we don’t get what we want. Where we fail, we try and try, and if it’s not in us we quit for good. When do we learn to let it go? I say we all have sweet tooth for success, especially when we are using something that is out of reach of our abilities. We are always over blowing our success and minimizing the failure.

There is no other way but to move on and try yourself at something else, if failed. In this process we discover our new selves. Life goes on, because there is a promise of an achievement, which is never bitter.

There is no permanent success or failure.

SANCTUARY

2011-07-13T10:28:00.000-07:00

SANCTUARY

Little sanctuary right in the middle of busy Bucharest.

BE CORNY

2011-07-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

BE CORNY

Summer corn, salt and butter.

THESE ARE HARD TIMES FOR DREAMERS

2011-07-08T13:34:00.000-07:00

These are hard times for dreamers
If our minds are here to find things, to understand, probably some of the biggest questions we can ask is why we are here, what brought us into the existence, do we serve any purpose at all. Even a creation of our bodies is mysterious, perhaps starting from a gaze, laugh and moment most foolish of all. We are all different in form and mind, and there is a beauty in this. No pair alike. Yet we are built from very same materials. Our physical form is holding in itself a tiny fraction of something extraordinary and enormous as Universe itself.

As we go in life we become what the world turns us into. Our bodies get older, turning more into a “costumes” with their own needs and desires. The moment we start listening to our bodies and let them drive the show, our souls are changed, they get damaged and hurt. We become dissatisfied. And we are lost in life.
We go on stepping over what we value, love and admire at some point trading it for things we calculate, desire and need more. Deep inside we know who we sold and for how much. Perhaps once we exit this body, our souls will create a world for us which will be suffering and torment for our existence.

It also feels like we have some “inbuilt instinct" the unexplained drive which always tells him what’s right and what’s wrong. Is what our souls are constantly reminding us? We need to go through this life to learn lessons.
Every step we take is an actual lesson to be learned and that lesson is to make us stronger and purposeful. When we go down this road we flourish. Helping another soul is in a way helping yourself. So our lives basically are a service.

If you understand this then it makes life so much simpler because loving, being merciful, being compassionate to every living in this world makes sense because it’s a way you are connecting with yourself and something bigger.

BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL

2011-07-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL
And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.
Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146.

LOST AND FOUND

2011-06-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

LOST AND FOUND
And so what if they proved that "technically" Earth is no longer a center of Universe, there are no Unicorns and Human beings are not the crown of creation, but walking apes. With that we earned not more that we lost.

LION'S HEART

2011-06-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

LION'S HEART
And you know it's a lion's heart
That will tumble and tear apart
When he's comin' down the hills for you

WHO GETS WHAT

2011-06-28T15:05:00.000-07:00

WHO GETS WHAT
a priori we have no purpose but the one we wish

GREAT TRACK

2011-06-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

GREAT TRACK
Great track from The Tallest Man on Earth - King of Spain.

GOD'S BIRTHDAY

2011-06-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

GOD'S BIRTHDAY
Absolute zero would be God's birthday, as well as a funeral. In between zeros it's hard to imagine a proper party, may be we are just not invited.

FINE AND ELEGANT

2011-06-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

FINE AND ELEGANT

The W.Ø. Larsen Classics range is a tobacco blend from Virginia, Burley and Black Cavendish.

Upon opening the pouch my nose was greeted by citrus, fruit, bit of vanilla, and perhaps licorice. Last year I've bought 4 pouches of this tobacco, one got stashed for a special moment. I returned from Denmark where I couldn't find this blend, also I have looked in Romania, no results, and finally I got it in Odessa at my pipe store.

Upon opening the pouch my nose was greeted by citrus, fruit, bit of vanilla, and perhaps licorice. This is the best Aromatic I've ever smoked, hands down. It lights easy, produces a very rich white smoke (especially for an aromatic) and the flavor is a subtle blend of caramel and some citrus, which give way to a beautiful tobacco flavor about halfway through the bowl. The best part is that no matter how hard I puffed, I could not get this to bite. None whatsoever, just a delicious smoke.

SINS

2011-06-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

SINS

At the age of twenty, Isaac Newton made a list of 49 sins he committed. Here are a few of them: 7. Squirting water. 8. Making pies on Sunday night. 44. Missing chapel. 9. Swimming...
Compared, especially with, the famous Tolstoyan notes "... I killed people in war, call out to kill, play cards, guzzle away the work of other men, beheaded them, adultery, cheating. Lying, stealing, fornication of all kinds, drunkenness, violence, murder ... There was no crime that I would not commit, and for all this they praise me, my peers have always considered me rather a moral man ". - Lev Tolstoy.

DR. HOUSE KOZAK STYLE

2011-05-29T03:47:00.000-07:00

DR.HOUSE KOZAK STYLE

“I teach you to lie, cheat and steal, and as soon as my back's turned you wait in line?”

Along the Enchanted Way: A Romanian Story

2011-05-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

Along the Enchanted Way: A Romanian Story
Got a taste of the book "Along the Enchanted Way: A Romanian Story" written by W. Blacker and already feel discomforted by this British chap bickering from a safe distance about how nice rural life of Romanian peasants where they live honest and simple life unspoiled by the civilization, where in reality they are breaking their backs with no modern tools for less he spends on paperclips without possibilities to travel.

Last summer I hanged around a person in Danube Delta, well, he is boat-man that makes money by taking others across Danube rowing a mile for one dollar.

- Yeah go on dear, write.

20 THINGS TO THINK

2011-05-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

20 THINGS TO THINK
— Absolutely everything beautifully leads to nothing.

DONE FOR TODAY

2011-05-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

DONE FOR TODAY

OH, HOW NICE

2011-05-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

OH, HOW NICE

INCORRECT TENSE

2011-05-23T14:14:00.000-07:00

INCORRECT TENCE

Day before yesterday proved.

VIDEO DOPE

2011-05-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

PASS THIS On

I SAY

2011-05-23T07:11:00.000-07:00

I SAY

WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIP

2011-05-23T05:18:00.000-07:00

World Beard and Moustache Championship

In the meantime Norway is hosting World Beard and Moustache Championships 2011. Overall winner, Elmar Weisser of Germany. I guess shaving is not an option.

PART OF YOUR BRAIN

2011-05-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

PART OF YOUR BRAIN

The same part of your brain that gets excited when you have romantic thoughts is stimulated when you stare at great works of beauty, researchers have discovered that upon viewing these great works of art, blood flow increased in areas of the brain usually associated with romantic love. Previous research has shown that art can reduce suffering in a hospital and lead to speedier recoveries from ill health.
In other words? Art is good for you—although we didn’t need an official study to know this.

NOT A BAD ENDING

2011-05-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

NOT A BAD ENDING

Not a bad ending. I say! From time to time I think myself what time will bring to me.

BIKE CONNECTION

2011-05-20T02:59:00.000-07:00

BIKE CONNECTION

First photo was taking in Aarhus, second one in Odessa. Feels good.

SOME PLACES HAPPINESS HAPPENING

2011-05-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

SOME PLACES HAPPINESS HAPPENING

WE SEE WHAT WE WANT

2011-05-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

WE SEE WHAT WE WANT

SOLARIS

2011-05-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

SOLARIS

I had a chance to watch "Solaris," by Andrei Tarkovsky. At some point it was fashionable, with a touch of pseudo-intellectuality to yak about how great his movies are. I am not going to sing the same song. I just wanted to note one thing, somehow I think this movie [Solaris] could be broken down to many other small movies without any line, structure or plot but each beautiful on its own.

From the very first shot, where water floats and algae moves very slow almost like woman's hair, it felt so earthly and real.

White hors in the fog looking at the camera, slowly moving away is another instance or may be just my imaginable phantom. Boy and girl running under the rain, perhaps they were filmed to say this is everybody's dream, run away from real life, feel like no consequences are matter for you childlikeness. Some dreams must remain a dream, their true value is not in realization but in itself. As long as we able to dream we remain human. Seems like he thought to make us all stop and turn into real observers, thinkers not just a fast moving, cadre consuming junkies.

Last night I was awakened by the sound of trees and rustling leaves. It remind me a moment in Solaris, where at the space station professor came up with idea to hang the paper strips on the air conditioner so he could hear a sound resembling rustling leaves, feeling like at home.
What a deep thought! People are ready to expand home to the size of the universe.

SOCIAL REALISM DUBOSSARSKY & VINOGRADOV

2011-05-16T01:40:00.000-07:00

SOCIAL REALISM DUBOSSARSKY & VINOGRADOV

"Painting was seen as the lowest art form, the most commercial, not really art at all and Social Realism was the most discredited style, a dead language. We started conversing in that language". Vladimir Dubossarsky

Dubossarsky & Vinogradov began their collaboration, in Moscow, in 1994. Their early paintings played heavily on a post Soviet view of Western capitalist society, which they depicted in all its excesses. Sex, drugs, film stars, heroes, and politicians, etc… were all heaped together in a state of orgy and delight. Furthermore all of this was funnelled through the traditionally conservative Soviet painting genre of Social Realism.

At the beginning of their collaboration they found themselves surrounded by a Moscow art scene that was hierarchical and near impossible to penetrate. In the late 1980s and after decades of hiding from the strict authorities the Moscow Conceptualists had become a closed sect with their own esoteric, vernacular, language. By the time this underground movement was able to surface from its subterranean den it had almost entirely retreated from object making into an obsession with pure theory.
In the early 1990s the gravitational pull towards their ideas dominated most of the Moscow art critics and younger artists found it difficult to find any senior allies. Dubossarsky & Vinogradov’s early paintings took Moscow by storm. Here were two painters no longer concerned with receiving qualification from their theory dominated predecessors. Rather, they embraced the new influx of imagery provided by a constant stream of western media and advertising.

Dubossarky & Vinogradov both live and work in Moscow. Their work has been exhibited widely internationally and has recently been seen at Venice, Sao Paolo and Tirana Biennales, Deitch Projects, New York, XL Gallery, Moscow and Galerie Krinzinger, Vienna.

SPELL

2011-05-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

SPELL

Just stumbled upon an interesting piece in old Russian fairytale where old wizard brought a spell on young maiden,—"Forget everything you want to remember and remember everything that you try to forget". In folk art the human character is usually well displayed and not without humor. Indeed it's a curse and a person that forgets the good easily is unfortunate.

CLASSROOM

2011-05-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

classroom

With some time to prepare I crawled in empty classroom and found an old tribune with
excellent motivation: — "Do not be afraid, do not be silent".

LOVELY DAY

2011-04-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

LOVELY DAY

Lovely day out, had an Ice cream and warm cheers for The Royal Family, watching whole celebration at famous Odessa cafe at "Poly Royal".

Wise words were told during the ceremony at Westminster Abbey, something we all should follow.
I think we all felt a bit British today — Cheers!

CITY CANVAS

2011-04-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

CITY CANVAS

Another visual fix from Denmark, streets of Aarhus are full of smart and fascinating graffitis.

The city looks more like a canvas in which pieces of art are embedded. Here is another one for you, whatever you can make out of this.

ON THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

2011-04-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

ON THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

I think this is a common subjective feeling that is generalized by assumption that it is something that we experience in the same way, as an process or end result of something that has been done or happened by or to us. Seems like presently everybody "must" be happy, it has become almost like a goal or duty. Modern mantra that is screaming out from tv, statuses and pictures on social networks, clothes, greetings, faces, adds, drugs etc. — Have people always been so obsessed with the pursuit of happiness?
It reminds me yawning, where is "race for happiness" almost as contagious, its enough for one to show how happy he or she is and the rest will try to look as happy. We are automatically assuming that if something made happy one person will make us happy as well. I think we all failed to see that not many of us are truly happy and if so, not for a long time. We deliberately keep overestimating and over blowing this condition, where everyone paint a picture of endless galore of colors. — Are we really as happy as we are trying to look?

Voltaire said once, "Paradise is where I am", simple idea with many questions. Is the attempt to find happiness self-defeating? Can we be happy by make someone unhappy or can we obtain happiness for a long time? Can we miss or not commensurate happiness or can we measure trueness of things by happiness? Can we be happy by not being happy?

Seems to me this vivid moments we call "happiness" something like a butterfly that just sat on your shoulder, something that you probably can even share, something that momentarily flicker only when the whole universe of things that are very specific and personal to each of us find its equilibrium.

Life is not easy, so happiness can not be obtain as easily. We should not become a comedians of your own happiness or turn right to happiness into a duty. In fact life is hard and we are subjects to everyday test of, — Integrity, faith, kindness, strength.

ADVERTISEMENT AND DESIGN EXHIBITION

2011-04-25T11:51:00.000-07:00

ADVERTISEMENT AND DESIGN EXHIBITION

Had some time to visit new exhibition at Museum of Western and Eastern Art.
This exhibition is dedicated to Advertisement and Design of the early 20th century. It was organized by Bayerisches Haus, people who work there I know few years already, we were trying to organize projects with our Romanian counterparts and before that I was taking German language course trough the winter of 2004, also this exhibition was made possible by Goethe Institute in Ukraine.

I think exhibited pieces are extraordinary, straight to the point, vivid, oriented on specific audience, they go straight into a memory. Something nowadays advertisement is lacking of, presented as waves of mash, clogging senses and dulling our intuition of whats good personally for me. Seems in today's advertisement everything is good for everybody as long as it is green, portable, recyclable and easy to take care of. — Am I sound too grim, oh well.

Poster of RAD cough pills made back in 20`s could be hanged at your apartment or MoMA museum, equally looking stylish and grand.
For instance, pack of Manoli cigarettes (1930) as a piece presented at exhibition, I would want to lay on the table just because of colors, shape, fonts, logo. You can see a statement in an object. Today's pack of Parliament cigarettes is out of time, even though they have "face lifts" every year, trying to catch up with what people might need, how trendy they desire to look. In this race they destiny to loose, because people do not know themselves what they need and look is a ever changing variable.

Also I noticed that each project is final and has no imaginable continuation, somehow it is done such way that adding something to it would totally ruin the idea, as artist absolutely condensed the sense and meaning, melting it to one visual piece. Just imagine to try adding something to the sculpture of David, wouldn't work, right?! And yet there were no focus groups, no pr managers, no top blah-blah-blah managers etc.

I don't want to sound too oldie, but I have a strong feeling that back then they really took a long time to come up with the end result, meticulously working on details and concepts of what they wont to sell to us.

Here, draw your own conclusions.

ANNUAL SEA LEVEL CHECK

2011-04-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

ANNUAL SEA LEVEL CHECK

Annual sea level check was done with utmost sophisticated technology and unseen precision.
Here is my report — Sea is working well.

My humble helper who is among greatest minds called by the name of Dr. Goodtimeroll.

RUNAWAY

2011-04-23T03:49:00.000-07:00

Jamiroquai RUNAWAY

Music for excellent mood, sun is out and so we should!

ANOTHER TIN OF BACCY

2011-04-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

ANOTHER TIN OF BACCY

Time to review another tin of Baccy.
A rich blend of Cavendish, Zimbabwean, Orange, Thailand Burley & Black Perique, matured in Oak Sherry Barrels. Made in Ireland.

As we are going along with many things in life, we are in need of time for ourselves, those small moments are essential and can be found in many things, whether you look at park trees or having a pipe at the end of the day on your balcony.

Mental scene that first comes to my mind smoking this tobacco — Outside in the country, sun behind the bare trees, autumn season beginning, get the feel of a season and save it for autumn — Woods. Wilderness. The smell of timber and a sort of rugged communion with nature. Lumberjacks. Green lable, probubly, says it all.

Dry, mature, cool, strengthy, oak smoked, potato and oak leaf, Jack Daniels, jacket potato skins, white pepper hint, starchy room note, bitter raw potato after taste (but not unpleasing), savoury, dry burner, leaves no real leftover and you can smoke it till it self extinguishes.

Take your time and you will work it out.

VISION ON THE ISLAND AND THE GHOST

2011-04-18T16:39:00.000-07:00

VISION ON THE ISLAND AND THE GHOST

What I am about to tell will sound very unlikely and improbable, some might say it is nothing, just a coincidence, trumpery or not.

Those two things that I am speaking of are connected in most peculiar way, trough a half sober vision on the Island and an image in old book in my study.

In distant 2005 I went on vacation to North Carolina, Outer Banks Islands. I've traveled there with my ex-girlfriend and bunch of friends, we rented a summer house and most of the time I would spent catching sharks, barbecuing things and arguing with my ex.

As time passed by I got to know the area and places where I could buy Rum, yes cheap, matured, spicy Rum.
One night after a strong dose of wording, I equally strongly felt an urge to have a drink, so I did. I took a bottle and -"Bon voyage", I had it at the beach right by the Ocean. I am not sure for how long or how much I had, but one thing became clear I saw a vision:

— In very bright moonlight a carcass of the ship came to my vision, half broken it stood there in the Ocean and dark silhouette in robes appeared, motionless almost as in waiting for something.

... All lasted a split of a second. I passed out. Next morning I came to our cabin and drew a doodle, I didn't have my own camera at that time, so I would have a black writing-pad and white corrector pen that I would take free in office so I could sketched things.

Now fast forward to today, or better to say last week when I found a book called "Life of Sir Walter Raleigh", who was an English aristocrat, writer, poet, soldier, courtier, spy, and explorer. He is also well known for popularising tobacco in England. Needless to say why I picked the book.

I opened the very first page of the book and saw and old Woodcut where it was written "Library University of North Carolina" and a print of a Man. I couldn't believe, similarities are astonishing, all elements are in place - The place and figure, coat, waves, moonlight and the ship! Most of all, the greatest match is the place, North Carolina where Sir Walter was trying to set a colony, right at the Outer Banks.

Seems like the ghost had reached me, I looked and looked...
Maybe that night half drunk I have seen Sir Walter Raleigh. The Man himself?

To you I say, believe me and be a judge my friend

20 THINGS TO THINK

2011-04-14T14:44:00.000-07:00

20 THINGS TO THINK

— I wonder, what if just like in space where is no up or down in time there is no past nor future. Maybe those two pillars, space and time are alike, both absolutely directionless where we were shaped to determine the directions and to bring purpose, serving as it's consciousness.

Life has a great mystery of continuation, supported by an instinct towards the good.
Maybe its "side effect" is a dream of the past and the future, where we could bettered things trying to find the best way or believe that everything is predetermined, struggling and convincing ourselves that the future can be changed and we are the masters of our destiny. In this perpetual conversation with ourseves we learn and improve.

Perhaps we are gifted in our limitations, seeing only with eyes opened, overlooking the past without traveling into it, hesitating and being indecisive.
I think it is so much more interesting to walk and be lost, found your way and get there, than just lets say be delivered to the point with a push of the button.

- .- .-.. -.- .. -. --.

2011-04-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

- .- .-.. -.- .. -. --.

— Talking to some people just as hard as recounting an Opera in Morse code.